shattered_fics: (cumberbatch)
[personal profile] shattered_fics
Title: You Could Be Happy
Rating: Mature
Pairing/Character(s): Benedict Cumberbatch/Waverly
Summary: For Waverly things are over with Benedict and she would be happy never to see him again. To Ben he just wants closure because he can't get Waverly out of his head.
Warnings: cursing
Length: Long
Word Count: 5,158
Chapter #: (1/1)
WIP or Complete: Complete
Author's Note: Part 9 and the final part in the Demons Series









Benedict stared at the cover of the gossip magazine, there was nothing of him in it. He had looked over the magazine cover to cover. No scandalous tell all from someone with their name changed. No juicy titbit from an anonymous source. Nothing. He couldn't believe it, he was expecting something. Placing the magazine down he couldn't tear his eyes away, why wasn't there anything? From everything that he had done in the last couple of weeks something should've slipped out. The magazine was pulled out of his sight and a plate of French Toast was put in it's place.

“I think it's enough of that,” Amanda took the magazine and folded it into her back pocket. “There's nothing so stop worrying.”

“There should be something!” Ben insisted slamming his hand down on the table. He ran his fingers through his hair as Amanda sat across from him.

“She may hate you, but at least she respects you,” Amanda said “Plus it's only been a few days she could just be writing up that scandalous article.”

“You're right,” Ben sighed grabbing for the syrup, Amanda grabbed his hand lightly. “What?”

“You're serious aren't you?” Her head was cocked to the side studying him. Amanda had seen him in some pretty serious states but this one had to have been the worse. In the three days that he had stayed at their house he appeared happy, played with the children but would always lock himself in his room at night. Sometimes she could hear him talking to himself other times it was eerily silent. “You really expect Waverly to go to some rag magazine and tell your story? How could you even think that of her?”

“I—I don't know,” He shook her hand off grabbing the powdered sugar instead. “It's just—it's all so perfect. The perfect thing to ruin me.”

“You idiot she doesn't want to ruin you,” Amanda wanted to reach across the table and smack him “She loves—loved you.”

“I'm sorry,” Ben said after a moment. The lack of sleep was getting to him. He could barely keep his eyes open. He didn't want to admit to Amanda or Martin that staying here seemed to be making it worse, all they wanted was to help. And they did by trying to keep his mind off of it, but in the morning it was the worst.

“Are you sleeping?”

“Not really.”

“Why don't you talk to us?”

“It's difficult,” Ben shrugged shoveling the toast into his mouth. His mind was running in circles and could barely keep track of the conversation.

Amanda looked exasperated. She focused on her own breakfast glancing up at him occasionally to make sure he was eating. She couldn't help him sleep but she would at least make sure he ate when he was in front of her. Maybe it was time for him to go back to his place, not cancel appointments and keep busy. If he did that his mind wouldn't have so much time to dwell. While it sounded good in theory Amanda knew throwing him back out there to work would be even worse.

“Ben can I ask you something?” Amanda starts carefully. An idea had been stirring in her mind once Benedict started to show an obsessive nature trying to find himself in the papers.

“Sure,” Ben shrugged scooping more of the bread into his mouth.

“The reason you're so obsessed with finding your name in the papers and rag magazines, is it because you want Waverly to say something? To give you a reason to hate her? To have something that you can get her out of your head for good?”

Benedict froze, his body went numb all over. He didn't want to admit it to himself but that was close to the truth. It was his mistake that started all this, he would long for her and think about her. But if she did something it would be just as easy to get her out of his mind. Slowly he shook his head looking away from Amanda. How could he admit that out loud? It would make him sound like an arse. He shoveled more toast into his mouth.

“You answered me with that look Ben,” Amanda sighed.

“She'll never be out of my head,” Ben said slowly “The minute I saw her at the masque she was in my head. She never left. She was supposed to be the one who could make me endlessly happy. Someone who I loved. But I messed that up, this is my fault. In the end I suppose she should be on my mind, she should sell her story. Either way I'll still feel guilty for not believing her feelings for me.”

Ben stood up quickly, nodding at Amanda in thanks for the breakfast before walking away from the table. Slumping back in her chair Amanda couldn't figure how to make this better. Ben was in deep in his guilt. She heard laughter from the sitting room, at least when he was playing with the children he was his natural self. What he really needed was Martin to sit him down and set him straight. He would listen to Martin if he said the right thing. Martin wasn't going to be back for another week, she wasn't entirely sure how she would be able to take more of this.

Waverly stood in her bedroom staring down at her duffel bag and suit case. She wasn't really sure how long she would be away but figured she might as well pack for anything. A knock at her front door resonated through her room. “It's open,” She yelled turning back to her closet, pulling out shirts at random and throwing them in the general direction of her bed. She stooped over to pick a shirt up on the bottom of her closet. Her knees felt weak as she fell.

“Waverly are you okay?” Tom was next to her clutching her arm trying to bring her up.

“No,” She flung the shirt across the room landing it behind her desk as Tom pulled her up.

“What was that?” He looked quickly behind him.

“Ben's shirt,” She said quickly returning to her luggage.

“Well I can return it to him.”

“No!” Waverly snapped over her shoulder.

Tom could tell she was tense, it hadn't exactly been an easy few days for her. He didn't want to feel like he was hovering, but he called her every day to check on her. Her heart was shattered into pieces and he wanted to make sure she was okay. He was ignoring Benedict, he had gotten a couple of texts from him. Just stating he's with Martin and telling him what an arse he had been. Tom of course had forgiven him, but told him they would meet up in a few days time to discuss it. He had hoped he would be able to turn Waverly around, but that was a fruitless attempt.

“Just leave it,” She sighed sitting on her bed.

“Almost ready to go?”

“I suppose, I don't know why I agreed to this.” Waverly shrugged zipping up her bags. “It's not like she really needs me. She has maids.”

“You know it's not that,” Tom grabbed her duffel and flung it over his shoulder. “You're going to help your sister prepare for the baby. She's gotta be do any time now!”

“I think about two weeks or something,” Waverly said. She wouldn't look up at Tom. She needed to leave, wanted to leave, but it was making her nervous. He was willing to drive her to the country just so she wouldn't have to dwell on anything. She knew that's why he called every day as well; it helped she wasn't thinking about Benedict as much as she would've if she didn't have her distractions. She rubbed her hands nervously together.

“It's okay, you need to get out of here for a little,” Tom kissed the top of her head grabbing her suitcase this time. “Once you see that baby you'll never want to leave and I'll be visiting you at your sisters house.”

“Oh don't say that,” Waverly laughed scrunching her nose at him “I bet once the baby comes Hadley will forget I exist and I'll be able to escape. I'll call in a week begging you to come get me.”

Tom laughed leading Waverly out of her room and apartment. She paused for a minute in the doorway scanning the room making sure that she had everything she needed. Her eyes quickly went back to her room and the shirt bundled under her desk. Her heart dropped as she grabbed her keys and shut her door.

The ride was only twenty minutes but to Waverly it seemed like hours. Tom kept her talking to stop her mind from wandering. She was grateful, she needed her mind running and not in idol. She stared out of the window at her sisters house. Waverly had never stayed at the place for more than a few days, but now she was going to have a room to herself. From the way the Hadley was going on it could even be an entire wing.

“Waverly,” Tom slipped his hand over hers. She jumped lightly turning towards him. Her smile didn't reach her eyes, he knew she really didn't want to come here. But she was doing it for her future niece or nephew. “C'mon we've been sitting in the drive for ten minutes. I'm waiting for their butlers to come running out dragging off your luggage.”

“They only have one butler Tom,” Waverly smiled more brightly opening her car door. As soon as she stepped foot on the gravel the front door opened with Hadley walking slowly down the steps. “Waiting for me?”

“Waiting to see if you would get out of the car,” Hadley wrapped her arms around her sister. Waverly froze before reciprocating the hug. “I know how reluctant you are to stay here.”

“No Hadley really,” Waverly started but Tom laughed getting out of the car. The sisters turned to the older man, Waverly glared while Hadley smiled.

“New man?” Hadley asked looking Tom up and down.

“Hadley Ew,” Waverly grabbed her bags from the car as Tom looked offended. “This is just Tom—he's B—my friend.”

“Tom Hiddleston,” Tom extended his hand to Waverly's older sister. She accepted it before pulling him into a hug.

“You're the one whose been taking care of my little sister,” Hadley said wrapping her arm through Tom's and turning back to her sister. “Oh don't be silly Waverly, the butler will get those.”

“Hadley,” Waverly hissed dropping the bags to the ground.

“Now lunch is served, how long are you going to be staying Tom?” Hadley lead Tom towards the house. He looked back at Waverly with a bemused smile on his face.

Waverly leaned against the car running her hands down her face she sighed. This would be the longest she would be with family since she moved out at the age of eighteen. She did not need the constant reminders of her childhood in the form of Hadley. But she was away from London proper, she was away from Benedict. She wouldn't risk running into him at her job, or even just around the corner. She was far enough away from him that she could start her detox from him. Pushing herself off of the car she followed Tom and her sister into the house.

Ben dropped his case on the floor of his apartment. He hadn't been around in two weeks. For some reason he expected it to feel different or look different. But things were exactly where he left them. His coat on the floor, books all over the coffee table. Kicking his bag to the side he slipped off his jacket and placed it on the hooks by the door. He collapsed onto the couch as he ran his fingers through his hair. He already felt more relaxed and calm. His mind was going through all of the appointments he had canceled, and the people he had to call. But first he needed a shower, if he was going to be running around all day he wanted to look decent.

Twenty minutes later with a towel thrown around his waist he went into his room. Benedict purposely avoided looking at the bed. He did not need to be reminded of her. Going into his closet he pulled a pair of jeans from his pile and grabbed a shirt off a hanger. After he dressed he straightened the floor a bit. And hidden in a corner was Waverly's overnight stash pile. Some of his undershirts and her spare clothing. Quickly he blinked away the tears that were welling and left the closet. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath.

His mind was playing tricks on him, that's all it was, her really couldn't smell her perfume in his room. Benedict slowly opened his eyes. There was no perfume in her overnight stash, there was none on the clothing in his closet. The smell seemed to be envelop him where he stood in the middle of his room. It was no where, but everywhere at once. He shook his head trying to clear the phantom smell, his eyes fell on the bed. It was still rumpled and unmade, it hadn't been slept in since Waverly spent the night. Slowly he walked over to the bed. Grabbing the pillows he threw them around the room. Standing at the end of the bed he couldn't tear his eyes away. His hands full of the bedsheets he bellowed out a scream throwing them off the bed. He grabbed the mattress ready to fling it off the support.

“Ben!” Martin rushed into the bedroom, he clutched onto the door frame for support. Staring at Benedict who was ankle deep in his sheets breathing heavily.

“Martin?”

“I heard you yell, are you okay? Did you have a problem with your bed sheets? Or did they attack you?” Martin made his way into the room stepping over a pillow that was thrown towards the door.

“How did you get in?” Ben untangled himself from the sheets kicking them away.

“My set of keys,” He held them up looking over the destroyed room. “What happened?”

“I'd rather not talk about it,” Ben pushed Martin out of his room shutting the door behind him after throwing a pillow back into the room. “Just forget you saw that.”

“I really don't think I can. What is going on? I leave you in the capable hands of Amanda and I come back and she tells me you're worse?” Martin sits down on the couch dragging Ben down with him so he didn't have to watch him pace around his apartment.

“I wouldn't say worse.”

“You were having a tantrum in your bedroom. Which you haven't been in since Waverly was here. I'd say you're a little worse.” Martin smirked.

“More resigned and tired with myself.” Ben shrugged leaning back into the couch. “I'm just waiting for all of this to crash down on top of me. Something'll happen, and I'm waiting. So I'll just sit here.”

“Give your publicist some statements in case something happens! If you're so scared something is going to happen prepare for it. Get out of this depression. Start making calls, get those appointments back that you canceled for two weeks. You cannot sit around and do nothing.” Martin had to push himself off the couch and scream at his friend. He was just sitting on the couch, wrapped in his own depression and anxious thoughts.

“Screaming at me isn't going to get us anywhere. Look, I know what I did is wrong, so I'm just waiting for the repercussions.”

“The only repercussion you are going to get is that Waverly will never speak to you again. And that's the one you deserve.”

“Weren't you the one to tell me to take it slow? To not rush into things?”

“Yeah but I didn't mean accuse her of sleeping with your friend! For fucks sake Ben what's gotten into you? You've never been this paranoid. What did you do?”

“Nothing!”

“Then stop acting like this, you made a mistake. The mistake cost you a girlfriend, you're not the first guy to do something that stupid.” Martin sat down on the couch next to Ben again. Yelling at him wasn't going to get them anywhere, it seemed like yelling was making it worse. “Let her go Ben. That's all you have to do. I know you loved her, and you wanted her to love you.”

“I think she did.”

“Then let her go. She's not going to come back. Just give her up and move on.”

“Well you're not padding it are you.” Ben said slowly. He knew everything that Martin was saying was true. He has to let Waverly go, it's all that he has to do and the depression would lessen. But it just didn't seem that simple.

“Ben look, we've tried to help you. All of us, Amanda, Tom and me. But you just aren't receptive--”

“It's because there is so much I want to say to her. I haven't told her I'm sorry, that I never should've believed what I heard. I never told her that I loved her.”

“Ben,” Martin sighed running his hands over his hair. What could he tell him? To call her up and say those things to her? From what Amanda told him, Waverly doesn't want anything to do with him. Even if he was able to say those things to her it would make him hopeful, when in the end it'll be for naught. Waverly was determined to let him go, but saying those things to her would just make it worse for her. “Are you thinking about what this would do to Waverly?”

“What?”

“Calling her up unexpected, spilling all this on her. She's decided and that's final.” Martin explained as Ben's phone went off. Taking a deep breath he continued “Let her be, let her go--”

“I'm sorry Martin but I've got to go,” Ben pushed himself quickly off the couch. He slipped on a pair of shoes and grabbed a jacket he turned to face Martin. “It's important.”

“Ben what's wrong?” Martin shot up from the couch.

“It's—nothing--I just have to go.” Ben shrugged grabbing his keys.

Martin stared at the door as Benedict slammed it shut. He had only seen him with that look a few times and most of them involved Waverly. “Ben what the fuck are you doing?” Martin pulled out his phone and quickly called Amanda.

She stared at the blank wall before her. It was all that would calm her down. A million things were flying through her head. What could go wrong, how badly she did not want to be there and how sick to her stomach she was. She could barely move out of freight. Closing her eyes she lowered her head and tried to think of something to keep her mind busy.

“Waverly!” Benedict yelled through the hallway.

Waverly looked up from her seat her heart suddenly in her throat, what was he doing here? She told Tom specifically not to tell him anything. He runs up to her sliding on his knees to rest in front of her. His hands are all over her, checking her face, her arms, and hands. She lets his hands roam over her, but she pulled back her hands slowly.

“Ben,” She said slowly wrapping her arms around herself. He sat back on his heels his eyes still roaming over her. “What are you doing here?”

“I heard you were in the hospital,” His voice cracked his hand reaching up to her face again. She gripped it tightly in hers before it reached her cheek. “It didn't really take long to figure out which one. I had to see if you were okay.”

“Ben,” Waverly laughed “My sister's having her baby.”

“Oh,” His hand slid from hers and he sat down on the floor. Ben felt his entire body flush with embarrassment. How could he be so stupid, he had learned his lesson before from rumors and here he went again rushing head first into something. There wasn't even a name on the message, and the number was blocked. He ran his hand through his hair laughing slowly. “Well I feel like a dick now. Oh God Waverly I thought something was wrong with you—happened to you.”

“I'm fine Ben,” She said smiling tightly. She was far from fine, she thought she would be happy never to see him again. But there he was right in front of her and she still felt the same. Flushed from head to toe and unable to control herself. She had to bite onto her lip to stop from flinging herself into his arms. “I appreciate you coming—I mean—if anything had been wrong with me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I'd do anything to make sure you were okay.” Ben said quickly standing up. He could barely look at her out of humiliation, she was reacting the same way. Never looking directly at him but to his left. Maybe Martin was right, he should've just left it. Vowed never to talk to her again; but there she was in front of him and he could barely speak. His body felt like it was vibrating with want. His fingers twitched by his side, he needed to cup her face again and kiss her. Curling his hands into fists he distracted himself by the pain of his nails against his palm. Nodding to himself he sighed “I'll just go then. Just—uhm, tell your sister congrats.”

“Ben, could you. I mean, please stay and sit with me.” Waverly gripped his hand lightly as he turned to walk away. Looking down at her he nodded, sliding onto the couch next to her lacing their fingers together. Their hands sat between them, her hands were probably sweaty but he didn't seem to mind. She bit her lip trying to stop the smile from her face.

Benedict held her hand firmly, his heart raced. This would mean nothing, he was here to comfort her. Obviously something had gone wrong in the delivery why else would she ask him to stay. He wanted nothing more than to just wrap his arms around her and kiss her worries away. He couldn't even think of anything to say to her. They hadn't seen each other in weeks, he owed her an apology, begging for her forgiveness but she didn't need any of that. She didn't ask for any of that. Just company. Ben moved closer resting her hand in his lap.

Out of the corner of her eye Waverly noticed Ben moving closer. She couldn't swallow past the lump forming in her throat. They shouldn't be this close, she shouldn't even be around him. She thought she had gotten over him. But the way her heart beat and how she felt her body shaking all over was telling her otherwise. She should be focusing on her sister, the emergency c-section, God only knows what happened. Waverly had gone to the canteen to get food and Dillon had called saying they were rushing her into surgery.

Waverly was shaken from her reserve when a door down the hall opened. She could only see that someone was in the doorway with her back to her. Her heart was suddenly in her throat. Benedict's hand tightened in hers, he was watching the door too. Down there Hadley was laying in a surgery room. The figure turned around and it was Dillon, in his arms was a little bundle wrapped in a hospital blanket. Immediately Waverly jumped up from the couch letting go of Ben's hand. She met Dillon half way down the hall. He was beaming barely taking his eyes off of his new child.

“Waverly,” Dillon ignored Benedict instead looking intently at his sister-in-law. “This is your nephew: Max Kegan Wickham.”

“Nephew?” Waverly reached for him, his little fists peaking over the blanket. Her heart melted as she wrapped her arms around him. It was a comforting weight. She felt Ben over her shoulder, his hand ghosting up and down her back in support.

“Waverly who is this?” Dillon asked after handing over Max to her. He eyed Benedict up and down. Waverly turned slowly cradling her nephew. The way he asked Waverly knew he had an idea who it was. Dillon had connections everywhere, the minute she said something bad about Benedict he would've looked for him. Plus it wasn't hard to tell who he was, as long as you watched the telly.

“Dillon,” Waverly said calmly unconsciously moving closer to Ben. She could feel him hold his hand over the small of her back. Looking back at Ben she continued “This is my—ex--Benedict Cumberbatch. Ben this is my brother-in-law Dillon.”

“What are you doing here?” Dillon asked slowly.

“Dillon please.”

“Waverly,” Ben reassured her. He knew what was coming, he was expecting it. If it wasn't going to come now it would be later in the street or Dillon might just pay him a visit some where. Dillon had the man on a mission look about him, he was watching him carefully. Benedict placing his hand on Waverly's back as he looked down at her nephew. He was beautiful, his eyes were still closed and his little face scrunched tight. His heart pinged with a sudden loss. Leaning down he kissed Waverly lightly on the head before stepping away completely. She didn't seem to notice she was so wrapped up with the baby in her arms.

“I'll ask again,” Dillon pulled Benedict away from Waverly “What are you doing here?”

Waverly watched Dillon pull Ben out of her hearing. Her skin tingled where his hand touched her back and she could still feel his lips. He walked stiffly beside Dillon. Ben was a good head taller than him and older too but he almost shrinks away from him. She doesn't have a good feeling about this meeting, in anger she had said some stuff she shouldn't have. Waverly watches them cautiously holding tightly to the baby. Her heart lurches as Dillon animatedly starts to talk.

“What are you--?”

“Doing here? You've asked me three times,” Ben sighs running his hand through his hair. “I had heard that Waverly was in the hospital. I came to see she was okay.”

“Hadley was having the baby,” Dillon hisses through his teeth. “Did you really have to come all the way to the hospital? Didn't you think of calling?”

“Well no,” Ben frowned. He didn't, the only thing he heard was Waverly and hospital if he was going to be honest. His thoughts had immediately went to danger and he had to be there for her. “I--”

“You shouldn't even be here with the way you treated her,” Dillon said. His body tensed and he had to keep unclenching his fists. “You've got balls my friend you're lucky I don't have security dump you out on your arse.”

“I know I messed up,” Ben held his hands up in defeat “I still care about Waverly.”

“Well you shouldn't. That is the last thing she needs! She needs to get over you. And if you keep popping up in her life at the most inopportune moments that's not exactly going to help her now is it?”

“I just—I need,”

“You think if you apologize that she's just going to forgive you? I don't think so Mr. Cumberbatch. You highly underestimate my sister-in-law if that's the case.” Dillon sneered.

“I just want her to be happy,” Ben said. His eyes flickered over to Waverly. She was staring down at the two of them. A concerned look plastered all over her face. His heart leapt.

“And I think she will be once you are out of her life. Just go away, I'll take care of her. She'll forget about you. Let her be happy with her family.” Dillon was staring up at Benedict now.

Dillon was quivering with anger and Ben felt like he could only agree. Dillon was right, once he was gone she would be happy. He didn't like it, but he knew it. There was really no other choice. Standing up taller he risked once last glance at Waverly. She was beautiful holding her nephew, unshed tears in her eyes. Her body language reading that she wanted nothing more than to run up to them, on the balls of her feet ready to help him. He wanted to shake his head, wanted to smile back at her but he couldn't.

“Goodbye Benedict,” Dillon smiled quietly turning on his heel he walked quickly back to Waverly.

“What did you say to him Dillon?” Waverly hissed grabbing her brother-in-law's arm tightly. She could barely see past the tears of anger welling in her eyes.

“I told him to stay away from you,” He slipped her hand off of his arm as he took his son from her embrace. “You deserve better Waverly, don’t think otherwise.”

“I thought I loved him,” Waverly whispered as Ben looked at her one last time before disappearing into the lift. She lurched wanting to go after him but she stopped herself. Rushing to the window she stared out.

Waverly watched him walk away her whole body going numb. She loved him, probably more than she had anyone before. But there was more damage done with them together and it wouldn't be worth her life being ruined. She faintly heard Dillon calling for her as Ben slid on his helmet before pealing out of the parking lot. She blinked back tears as she turned from the window.

Ben had to pull over because of the tears that were threatening his eye sight. He could barely breath with the helmet on, he gasped for air once it was removed. His body was shaking all over from adrenaline and emotion. Leaning on his bike he looked up at the hospital in the distance. It had been a mistake to go there, a mistake that he can't take back. His last glimpse of Waverly was her looking heart broken, again by him. Always broken because of him. He resisted the urge to throw his helmet across the street. She would be better without him, he had to repeat this mantra over and over before he calmed down. They were too destructive together, no matter what they did it just wasn't ever right. If they were truly meant to be he wouldn't have fucked it all up, she would've forgave him and they'd still be sitting in the hospital with her new nephew. But he did fuck it up and he has to live with the consequences.
From:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
User
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.

Profile

shattered_fics: (Default)
shattered_fics

May 2016

S M T W T F S
12345 67
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031    

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 24th, 2017 10:30 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios